The Sandwich Generation – You’re taking care of your parent at home. And taking care of your children at the same time. This can lead to wondering if you are doing the right thing for everyone.
Then there is the guilt. You feel guilty for not being able to do everything for your children, and have them do the activities and fun stuff that they want to do. You feel guilty for not being able to do everything you can to meet your parent’s needs.
The Sandwich Generation – When is it Too Much?
At some point, it is all going to be too much. Your kids may start showing signs that you are not spending enough time with them.
At some point, your parent is going to require more hands on care, and more medical treatments than you can handle at home.
We all are only human, with only 24 hours in each day, and have to sleep at night.
At some point, you are going to have to say you can no longer do it all, then something has to change.
That change will vary from family to family. You may be able to hire someone to come in to take care of your parent, to meet their needs. That will free up your time to spend with your children.
In-home care is expensive, though. You may not be able to afford to pay for it. Or your parent may need more care than even a home care worker can give. In that case, your only option may be a nursing home.
That’s when even more guilt tries to attack you. You feel that you should be able to take care of your parent yourself. The most important thing is to make sure your parent gets the care they need and deserve. If their needs are being met, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Telling your parent that you can no longer care for them is hard. But at some point, it will be a necessary conversation.
It is heartbreaking to know that you can not meet the needs of your parent, and have no choice but to place them in a nursing home.
Please know that you are not alone. My husband and I are at that point, too. We know the guilty feeling. We are choosing to concentrate on how to best meet our parents needs. If that is nursing home care, then we have nothing to feel guilty about. And neither do you!