Welcome to Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series – a week long
celebration of moms and mothering. Each day will feature a new post by some of
today’s best writer’s (Tricia Goyer, Sheila Walsh, Suzanne Woods Fisher, Bonnie St.
John, and more). I hope you’ll join us each day for another unique perspective on
Mother’s Day.

AND … do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful hand crafted
pearl necklace. To enter, just {CLICK
THIS LINK} and fill out the short form. Contest runs 5/6-5/13 and the
winner will on 5/14. Contest is only open to US and Canadian residents.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info and see what we’re all about. In
short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in
the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Pearl Girls: Encountering
Grit, Experiencing Grace or one of the Pearl Girls™ products (all GREAT
Mother’s Day gifts!) to help support Pearl Girls.

And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!

Stepping Out on Faith by Bonnie St. John

“Darcy . . .”

“Yeah, Mom?”

I momentarily held the undivided attention of my teenage daughter. Her thumbs,
free of their ubiquitous texting keypad, quietly dangled by her side. Her computer
and its omnipresent Facebook page were completely out of sight. I had almost
forgotten what she looked like without all these adolescent accoutrements. As we
sat down together on the burgundy leather sofa in our living room, I realized this
fleeting state of electronic dislocation was my chance to hatch a plan I had been
formu- lating for the past several weeks. Carpe diem.

“How would you like to write a book together?”

“About what?” I asked my mom. Write a book? This was a real surprise. I felt a bit
suspicious, but still curious.  I love to write, and Mom kept telling me I was
really good at it. I like writing poetry, fantasy, and sci-fi, though.  The books
Mom wrote were all nonfiction.  I wondered what we could possibly do
together.

“Well . . .” I hesitated. If I wanted her to commit to any extra work out- side her busy
schedule at school—not to mention work alongside her mother—I had to make this
really great. “It would be about women as leaders,” I continued, “a mother-
daughter investigation into leadership styles and structures.”

“Leadership?” I blurted. It came out as if I had a bad taste in my mouth—which I did.
I couldn’t imagine a more boring topic to write about. What is there to say
about leadership anyway? When you’re in charge, you just get things done, right?
Who wants to talk about that?

Her furrowed brow told me I was losing her fast. “Um . . . we could find women
leaders all around the world!” I said impulsively, frantically casting the ultimate
bait.

“Really? Would we get to travel a lot?”  I hadn’t thought about that. Heck, I’d
write about the mating habits of tsetse flies  if I got to go to Africa to do it!

But this project wasn’t just about the influence it would have on Darcy. I wanted
to do something that could have a potent impact on an alarming trend I had
witnessed in workplaces across the country: far too many women appeared to be
making a choice not to apply for top leadership positions when presented with the
opportunities to do so.

This project, then, was a bit of a Trojan horse. On the one hand, the saga of a
mother-daughter journey could seduce female readers, who might never bother to
read the Harvard Business School dissertations on the subject, into a meaningful
conversation about leadership. At the same time, if Darcy met a series of brilliant,
accomplished women— people even a cynical teen would be in awe of—perhaps
they could tell her all the things I’d like her to know—and more.

And she just might listen.

But where to start? How would we make it work? I suggested we do most of our
research by phone, as I did for How Strong Women Pray. My telephone
interviews with a governor, some CEOs, actors, sports figures, a college president,
and others yielded great stories and information. I promised my intrepid co-author,
though, that we could punctuate these conversations with a few visits in person to
exciting and exotic places—all with reasonably priced airfares.

“Why don’t we follow each subject as she goes about her daily life? That way
our readers get to come along with us and get a behind- the-scenes look at what
happens to them. Instead of just a boring interview, we—and our readers—get to
hang around with these women, see them in their natural habitat, and even see how
other people treat them.”

Although I agreed it was a wonderful approach, this idea of “job- shadowing” each
featured subject wasn’t going to be easy. Would these high-powered, important
women deign to allow us that kind of access? Would they be able to impart the kind

of wisdom that would resonate with our readers and truly make a difference in their
lives?  We looked at each other, both of us hooked on a crazy idea that we
weren’t sure we could pull off.

“It sounds impossible, Darcy,” I said. “We might as well get started.”

And so, we stepped out . . . on faith.

Bonnie is a 1984 Paralympics silver medal winner in
ski racing. Her education includes a degree with honors from Harvard, a Rhodes
scholarship, and an M.Litt in Economics from Oxford.  Her career includes
positions as an award-winning sales rep for IBM and a Clinton White House member
of staff. She now is a much-in-demand speaker, who makes nearly 100 speeches
each year to corporations and civic groups. You can visit her on the Web at www.bonniestjohn.com.

Exciting News – the latest Pearl Girls book, Mother of Pearl: Luminous Legacies
and Iridescent Faith will be released this month! Please visit the Pearl Girls Facebook
Page (and LIKE us!) for more information! Thanks so much for your support!

AND … do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful hand crafted
pearl necklace. To enter, just {CLICK
THIS LINK} and fill out the short form. Contest runs 5/6-5/13 and the
winner will on 5/14. Contest is only open to US and Canadian residents.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info and see what we’re all about. In
short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in
the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Pearl Girls: Encountering
Grit, Experiencing Grace or one of the Pearl Girls™ products (all GREAT
Mother’s Day gifts!) to help support Pearl Girls.

And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!

What I
Am Not by Tricia Goyer

Becoming a mother is a complicated thing. Not only am I trying to negotiate a
relationship with my child, I am trying to negotiate a relationship with myself as
I attempt to determine how I mother, how I feel about mothering, how I want to
mother and how I wish I was mothered.

Sometimes the easiest way to discover who we are is to know who we are not.

• We are not our children. We all know mothers who go overboard trying
to make themselves look good by making their children look great. I saw one woman
on the Oprah television show who had bought her preschool daughter more than
twelve pairs of black shoes just so the girl could have different styles to go with her
numerous outfits! Just as we -don’t get report cards for mothering, we also -don’t get
graded on our child’s looks or accomplishments. While you want your children to
do their best and succeed in life, your self-esteem -shouldn’t be wrapped up in your
child.

Life as I See It:

My individuality will never end. There will be no one exactly like me, not even
my child. She will be like me in some ways, but not at all in others. I -wouldn’t have
it any other way.

• We are not our mothers. I remember the first time I heard my mother’s
voice coming out of my mouth. The words “because I told you so .  .  .” escaped before
I had a chance to squelch them.

It’s not until we have kids that we truly understand our mothers — all their frets,
their nagging, and their worries.

It’s also then that we truly understand their love.

Since you are now a mother, it’s good to think back on how you were raised. If there
were traditions or habits that now seem wise and useful, incorporate them into your
parenting. You also have permission to sift out things you now know -weren’t good.
Just because you’re a product of your mother, that -doesn’t mean you have to turn
out just like her. Repeat after me, “I am not my mother.”

• We are not like any other mother out there. Sometimes you may feel
like the world’s worst mother. After all, your friend never yells at her son —
and sometimes you do. Then again, your friend may feel bad because you have
a wonderful bedtime routine that includes stories and songs. In many cases, the
moms you feel inferior to only look like they have it together. All moms feel they –
don’t “measure up.” Instead of feeling unworthy, we should realize that everyone
has strengths and weaknesses. The key is where we place our focus.

The Bible says, “Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without .
.  . comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we -aren’t”
(Romans 12:5 – 6, MESSAGE).

The problem with comparison is, we always measure our weaknesses
against the strengths of others.

Instead, we need to thank God for our strengths. We can also ask God to help us
overcome our weaknesses — not because we want to compare ourselves, or look
good in someone else’s eyes, but because we want to be the best mom out there.

Exciting News – the latest Pearl Girls book, Mother of Pearl: Luminous Legacies
and Iridescent Faith will be released this month! Please visit the Pearl Girls Facebook
Page (and LIKE us!) for more information! Thanks so much for your support!

AND … do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful hand crafted
pearl necklace. To enter, just {CLICK
THIS LINK} and fill out the short form. Contest runs 5/6-5/13 and the

winner will on 5/14. Contest is only open to US and Canadian residents.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info and see what we’re all about. In
short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in
the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Pearl Girls: Encountering
Grit, Experiencing Grace or one of the Pearl Girls™ products (all GREAT
Mother’s Day gifts!) to help support Pearl Girls.

And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!

She’s…My
Everything by Suzanne Woods Fisher

“A mother is one who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else
can take.”

Just a few more months. My mother was hoping Dad would hang on long enough
so they could celebrate their sixtieth wedding anniversary in April. But on January
1st, as the sun rose on the new year, my dad’s worn out heart beat its last. Dad had
battled Alzheimer’s Disease for ten years. As many of you know, AD is a long, hard
journey. Hard on the one afflicted with the disease, hard on the caregivers.

But not without its blessings.

Four years ago, as I began researching stories for Amish Peace: Simple Wisdom
for a Complicated World, my path crossed with a handful of Plain families who
were coping with Alzheimer’s. It was just about the point when Dad’s illness was
shifting from early to mid stages AD and the timing was a divine accident. I learned
so much as I observed the calm acceptance of these families. Rather than waste
time shaking a fist at God for allowing this disease to take their loved one, they put
their energy into trusting God’s sovereignty. They didn’t deny the difficulties and
complications and sadness of Alzheimer’s, but they didn’t dwell on them. “God has a
plan,” one woman told me. “He always has a plan.”

Something else I noticed was how privileged my Amish friends felt about caring
for their loved one. Caring for the elderly, they believe, is the time to give back to
them.

Those encounters shaped my perspective of Dad’s illness. I started to pay attention
to how God provided answers to new wrinkles created by Alzheimer’s, just in time.

God may be slow, but He is never late.

I started to cherish special moments or good days with Dad—just as he was at each
point in his illness. Not mourning the past, not dreading the future.

I really miss my dad. I miss his scratchy whiskers and the way his eyebrows would
wiggle at us, even as words failed him. Yet I have such peace in my heart that he was
well loved and well cared for, right to the very end. And as hard as Dad’s end of life
has been, it isn’t the end. We will meet again. As the saying goes, “Some may see a
hopeless end, but as believers we rejoice in an endless hope.”

There’s a beautiful story that illustrates my parents’ 59-year marriage. This event
happened about a year or two ago. My sister had accompanied our mother to the
doctor appointment for Dad at the Stanford Memory Clinic.

Dad had declined quite a bit that month. He was weak and lethargic, even to the
point of whispering, as if it took too much energy to project his voice. During the
doctor’s appointment, the doctor told my mother and sister that Dad was now
in late stages of Alzheimer’s. Dad didn’t have much vocabulary left, but when the
doctor asked him who mom was, he whispered something back. The doctor looked
at Mom and asked, “Did you hear what he just said?”

Mom shook her head.

“When I asked him who you were, he whispered, ‘She’s…my everything.'”

Suzanne Woods Fisher is a writer of bestselling fiction and non-fiction
books about the Old Order Amish. Her interest in the Plain People began with
her grandfather, W. D. Benedict, who was raised Plain. Suzanne is the host of
Amish
Wisdom, a weekly radio program on toginet.com, and writes a bi-monthly
column for Christian Post. Suzanne can be found on-line at www.suzannewoodsfisher.com.
Re-printed with
permission by Cooking & Such, www.sherrygorebooks.com.

Exciting News – the latest Pearl Girls book, Mother of Pearl: Luminous Legacies
and Iridescent Faith will be released this month! Please visit the Pearl Girls Facebook
Page (and LIKE us!) for more information! Thanks so much for your support!

AND … do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful hand crafted
pearl necklace. To enter, just {CLICK
THIS LINK} and fill out the short form. Contest runs 5/6-5/13 and the
winner will on 5/14. Contest is only open to US and Canadian residents.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info and see what we’re all about. In
short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in
the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Pearl Girls: Encountering
Grit, Experiencing Grace or one of the Pearl Girls™ products (all GREAT
Mother’s Day gifts!) to help support Pearl Girls.

And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!

Joy Comes from Perseverance by Sheila Walsh

One of the most important lessons I have learned in my own life is the joy
that comes from perseverance. Eugene Peterson, borrowing a phrase from
Friedrich Nietzsche, wrote his book  “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction
…Discipleship in an Instant Society.” He points to the Psalms as the way believers
have always learned to pray what they live and live what they pray but it is not a
short journey. It is an intentional commitment to keep walking even when you
are worn out.

*If we want to see lasting results in any area of life it’s important to keep walking in
that direction.

*If we want to have a better understanding of the Gospel of John then it takes time
and commitment to dig deeper day after day.

*If we want to be thinner this summer than last summer then the work begins now
not then.

So too in our relationship with Christ…..

*If we want to know Him at a more profoundly intimate level, that also takes an
intentional seeking after Him every day.

As a grown woman I have come to love the beauty of this gift. Passing this “mined
treasure” onto my son on the other hand has been an interesting challenge.
We live in such a fast paced, attention-challenged culture where the latest
thing can be delivered to your doorstep by tomorrow for a few dollars more. But, as
you know, by the time it is delivered it has already been replaced or updated!

How do we speak then into the lives of our children to help them understand
and value perseverance?

For me…part of the puzzle meant a large piece of poster board, scissors, some

photos and a bottle of Elmer’s glue. My son, Christian and I spread everything out on
a sheet in the game room as I explained our project. “We’re going to make a family
faith-tree,” I said. “These are photos of family on your dad’s side and on mine. Many
of them have gone on to be with Jesus but the seeds they planted into our family
continue to grow.” Then we wrote down their names and when they came to faith
in Christ (as many as I knew).  It was quite something to see when we were
finished.

“Your life matters Christian. Running your race well matters.”

That night we read these words from the writer to the Hebrews,

“We are surrounded by a great cloud of people whose lives tell us what faith
means. So let us run the race that is before us and never give up.”

and Iridescent Faith will be released this month! Please visit the Pearl Girls Facebook
Page (and LIKE us!) for more information! Thanks so much for your support!

AND … do enter the contest for a chance to win a beautiful hand crafted
pearl necklace. To enter, just {CLICK
THIS LINK} and fill out the short form. Contest runs 5/6-5/13 and the
winner will on 5/14. Contest is only open to US and Canadian residents.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info and see what we’re all about. In
short, we exist to support the work of charities that help women and children in

the US and around the globe. Consider purchasing a copy of Pearl Girls: Encountering
Grit, Experiencing Grace or one of the Pearl Girls™ products (all GREAT
Mother’s Day gifts!) to help support Pearl Girls.

And to all you MOMS out there, Happy Mother’s Day!

Priceless Treasure by Cindy K. Stiverson

We’ve heard it said and often find it true:

You don’t know the value of a treasure until you’re without it.

We take for granted the things in life that seem so readily available.

A paperclip or rubber band, to hold things together.

A tissue or napkin, to wipe our nose to clean our face, to absorb our
tears.

A Bible to speak words of wisdom and instruction and life and
love.

And a Mother, who is all these things and more.

She is readily available.

She holds things together.

She wipes our nose, cleans our face (and our fingers, and,
well…everything else!)

She absorbs our tears and calms our fears.

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”
(Proverbs 31:26)

She loves.

Within hours after my mother passed into the gates of our heavenly home, I
was missing her. Her quick wit…humor…charm. Her warm smile and melodious
laughter, which served her well to the very end, as did our Lord Jesus Christ, who so
graciously allowed her to slip quietly and peacefully into His arms.

She simply stopped breathing.

As I stood at her bedside in those priceless moments after her passing, I wanted
to touch her skin as much as possible while there was still warmth in her body; to
nuzzle my nose against her head and breathe in the scent of her hair while she was
still there. Priceless treasures I was guilty of taking for granted, clouded by unmet
needs. I was so consumed with what she was not, that I never fully appreciated who
she was. It’s like I was blind, but now I see!

I see her strength, her commitment. Her perseverance…sacrifice…her unspoken

love. I see how much she meant to me, how much she did for me, how much she
taught me, and how much of the good in me was modeled by her.

She was a virtuous woman, as described in Proverbs 31 of the Bible.

“Her children stand and bless her… a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly
praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise
(vs. 31).”

This last verse of the poem serves as an epitaph for the woman of virtue. It speaks
of the legacy she leaves in her passing. It spurred me to write a personal epitaph for
my mother, which I read at her funeral.

With the reading of this poem, I asked everyone to stand. We clapped our hands in
celebration and praise of the life of my mother, Margaret Alice Stiltner.

Imagine our surprise to discover that she had left a poetic epitaph for us! She had
clipped it from an old magazine and framed it. I found it when I was cleaning her
home, on a nightstand by her bed. My mother was never versed at expressing
emotion. This was her sweet way of kissing us good-bye: a priceless treasure to
remember her by.

Cynthia (Cindy) Stiverson is a speaker, writer, and artist.  In 1998, she
founded Woven: Women of Virtue Network, a spiritual formation and friendship
ministry. She pastors the women at Newark Church of the Nazarene in Ohio.
She is currently working on her fourth Woven Workbook, and also a book for
mothers and daughters on the subject of sexual abuse. Cindy considers
raising her daughter, speaker/author Nicole Braddock Bromley, to be her greatest
achievement. She loves the men in her life, hubby Mark, grandbabes Jude and Isaac,
and son-in-law Matthew. You can find more of Cindy at www.WovenWomen.blogspot.com and
www.CynthiaStiverson.com

Exciting News – the latest Pearl Girls book, Mother of Pearl: Luminous Legacies
and Iridescent Faith will be released this month! Please visit the Pearl Girls Facebook
Page (and LIKE us!) for more information! Thanks so much for your support!

Thank you all so much for following along with the Pearl Girls™ Mother of Pearl Mother’s Day blog series. I pray you laughed, cried and were touched by the translucent stories of real life written by new moms, stepmoms, grandmoms, adoptive moms, and moms without moms. Iridescent reality. And how poignant that the translucent nacre which coats the sand stuck inside an oyster’s shell is called Mother of Pearl. Mothers surround children with their love and with God’s love so they can grow in grace. I hope you’ll join us this December for the third annual 12 Pearls of Christmas series.

AND … thanks too, to all of you who entered to win the beautiful hand crafted pearl necklace. I’m thrilled to announce that the winner is …


Jennifer (heavensent1)!


Jennifer, please email amy@pearlgirls.info with your mailing address.

If you are unfamiliar with Pearl Girls™, please visit www.pearlgirls.info and see what we’re all about. The purpose of Pearl Girls is to connect women so that together, we can make a difference in the world.  All proceeds of the Pearl Girls book go in full to two charities: Wings (women in need growing stronger) to help fund a safe house in the Chicago suburbs and to Hands of Hope to help build wells for schoolchildren in Uganda. Consider purchasing a copy of Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit, Experiencing Grace or one of the Pearl Girls™ products to help support Pearl Girls.