Amelia Carlyle’s face ached from the smile pasted on

Uit for the last three-quarters of an hour. Would this

ceremony never end? She balanced first on one foot and then the other to relieve the pain caused by the white satin pumps Amanda had insisted Amelia must wear.

  Amanda’s face glowed with the radiance of the love she had for Charles Scott Bishop, the man who became her husband today. If that love ever happened to Amelia, and she decided to marry, it’d be a small and simple wed ding without all this pomp and circumstance.

   At last the minister pronounced them husband and wife, and Charles leaned forward to kiss his bride. Amelia’s thoughts went immediately to the buffet to be served at the reception. Mama and Papa had spared no expense for their oldest daughter’s wedding, and Amelia anticipated the spread of lobster, roast beef, croissants,  and wedding cake.

   Amanda and Charles made their way back up the aisle, and Amelia dreaded walking even that short distance in her shoes, but she put on another smile and made it to the front steps of the church where carriages waited to take them to the hotel for the reception.

   Once they arrived, guests mingled and  greeted the bride and groom, but Amelia found the closest table and sat down to slip off her shoes. Her white-stockinged toes wiggled in  great relief to  be free of  their bindings. She turned her back to the room to hide her most unseemly behavior, but comfort won over decorum. She lifted her skirts to run her fingers along the arch of one foot, which relaxed in contentment. Of course if anyone asked her to dance later, she may not be able to squeeze her feet back into the slippers, but she had seen no one with whom she cared to dance anyway.

“Excuse me, Miss Carlyle?”

   Amelia snatched the hem of her skirt and yanked it down to cover her legs and feet. She whirled around to find herself looking up into eyes so dark brown, they were almost black. The man towered over her with broad shoul- ders that blocked any view of the room behind him. A tingling started in her toes and progressed its way to her heart. Why had she not noticed this handsome young man before? “Yes, I’m Miss Carlyle, but I do believe you have the advantage.” His smile sent even more tremors through her bones. “I . . . I don’t recall having met you before.”

“Of course you don’t. You were twelve, and I was a skinny   fourteen-year-old.  Neither  of us paid much attention to the other when we last met at my grandparents’ home for dinner after church one Sunday. My name’s Benjamin Haynes.”

   Benjamin Haynes, of course, the son of her parents’ best friends of  school days, but what was he doing in Boston? His family lived in Kansas. “Oh, yes, that was a few years ago. Have you moved back here?”

He grinned, and his eyes sparkled with amusement. “No, but my parents found your sister’s wedding to be the perfect opportunity for a return trip, and I must say now I’m glad I came along.”

Heat rose in  her cheeks, and her tongue turned to mush. She simply stared back at him with what she hoped was not a stupid smile. What if he asked her to dance? Her feet crossed and rubbed against one another beneath her dress. She’d never get her feet back into those shoes.

“May I get you some refreshment?”

   Amelia nodded. “A . . . a cup of punch would be nice.” As he turned to carry out the request, she groaned. Another thing she’d forgotten, no buffet table without her shoes. If she dared walk across the floor without them, her skirt would drag and give away her secret. As if in protest, her stomach grumbled and sent a wave of hunger pangs to her brain. All that food so near, yet it may as well be in another town for all the good it did her seated across the room.

   Her gaze landed on Benjamin at the serving table. Although she vaguely remembered him from his last visit, he  appeared much taller and was certainly more hand- some than he had been then. His dark brown hair even curled slightly at the neckline. Of course she hadn’t been truly interested in boys at that time. Being noticed by him created a bit of delight in her now.

   Benjamin returned, not only with a cup of punch, but also with a plate filled with some of her favorites from the buffet array. “I thought you might not want to cross the floor to the serving table without your shoes, so I brought it to you. I hope you like what I selected.”

Heat again filled her face. He’d noticed her shoeless feet and had sought to save her further embarrassment by being so polite. For that her stomach thanked him. “Thank you, Mr. Haynes. This will do quite nicely, but what about you? When will you eat?”

“If you’ll allow me, I’ll get my plate and rejoin you.” “I’d like that very much, thank you.” Her heart beat

in double time as he returned to the buffet and made his own selections. His broad shoulders hinted at the muscles and strength that must be hidden beneath the sleeves of the black suit he wore. The evening took on a whole new interest, and Amelia tucked her feet well beneath her skirts to keep them hidden from view.

   When he returned, he sat in the chair next to hers. Miracles of miracles, no one asked to join them, and they remained alone. Her father may have a few words about that later, but for the time being, Amelia planned to enjoy every minute she could have with Mr. Benjamin Haynes.

   He spread a napkin across his lap. “Tell me, Miss Haynes, what have you been doing since the last time I saw you?”

It had only been a little more than five years ago, but it may as well have been a lifetime for all Amelia could remember. Her mind a blank, she could only stare at him.

He must think her to be a complete ninny. She cleared her throat. “In school, but of what interest could that possibly be to you? I would imagine your life has been much more eventful and interesting.”

   Benjamin grinned at  her and sipped his punch. He set the cup back on the table and cocked his head to one side. “My life has been herding cattle and getting them to market as well as bustin’ broncos to have horses to ride.”

“Now that sounds a lot more exciting than going to school, taking piano lessons, and learning to embroider.” She pictured him herding cattle or riding a bucking horse. An appealing image.

A young  man  approached  the table,  and Amelia cringed. The last person she wanted to see wore a deter- mined expression on his face. Rudolph, Charles’s brother, wanted to dance, but his surly attitude the night before at a family dinner had frightened Amelia in a way she couldn’t quite explain.

He  stopped  beside  Amelia  and  Benjamin.  “Miss Carlyle, may I have the honor of this dance with you?” His dark eyes held nothing but malice even though his words were polite.

She stuck a shoeless foot out from under her dress. “I’m sorry, Mr. Bishop, but I don’t have my shoes on and have decided not  to dance this evening. I’m  sure you under- stand I can’t be on the dance floor in my stocking feet.”

He glared at her for a moment, then, without a word, swiveled on his heel and strode across the room. Amelia shivered, thankful she had removed her shoes.

“I must say, that was rude.”  Benjamin frowned after the man.

   Amelia nodded then smiled at  Benjamin. “He’s Charles’s brother, and I’m glad I didn’t have to dance with him.” She picked up a pastry. “Let’s enjoy ourselves and not think about rude men like Rudolph Bishop.” Indeed, she wanted to know everything she could learn about Benjamin Haynes.

•
Ben wanted to know more about this intriguing young woman he’d known in childhood. Until his father decided to pick up stakes and head west to start his own ranch, the  Carlyle and Haynes families had spent many week- ends together as his father and Mr. Carlyle had been close friends and schoolmates.

   How thankful he was now that he had not insisted that he be left behind to help the ranch hands with the herds. If he had, he would not be sitting across from the lovely young woman in a pink dress.

“Amelia, do you remember the week my family left for Kansas? Your parents gave a wonderful farewell party for us. Of course you were only five, but I hoped you might recall that night.” If she did remember, he might find him- self in trouble as he had delighted in pulling her golden brown curls more than once just to see her reaction, and she hadn’t disappointed. She had stomped her foot and hit him each time until his mother corralled him the third time and made him stay by her side.

Amelia chewed a  piece of pastry and narrowed her eyes at him. She swallowed and pursed her lips. “Was that the time you kept pulling my curls?”

Heat rose in his face. “You do remember. I apologize for my awful behavior that evening, but you looked so cute with those long curls hanging down from that big yellow bow.”

   Amelia laughed. “I forgive you, but it hurt that last time, and I wanted to cry. I wasn’t about to let you see me in tears, and I believe your mother took care of you. Mary Beth and I had fun after that.”

“Yes, Mama made sure I  stayed by her side, and I didn’t have much fun the rest of the evening. I’m glad you did though. Then your family came to the railway station to see us off on our adventure westward.” That had been some scene with both their mothers crying and their fathers promising to keep in touch.

   “Oh yes, I recall how afraid I was of that big engine with its smoke and loud whistle. When it started up and began rolling on the track, I hid behind Mama’s skirt, but I saw you wave at us from the window. I thought you were so brave to move away like that with your family.”

   “It was quite the adventure.” And one he would never forget. He held no regret at all for leaving Boston all those years ago.

   He glanced up to see his sister headed their way. He didn’t often get to see her so dressed up with her dark hair piled on her head. He grinned when she squealed and grabbed Amelia, her brown eyes dancing with pleasure. “I’ve been looking all over for you. I should have known Ben would have you all to himself.”

   Amelia hugged the girl in return. “Mary Beth, I’m so glad to see you. I spotted you at the church when we went back up the aisle. Sit down and join us.”

   Benjamin shook his head and glared at Mary Beth, but she paid him no mind and plopped down in the chair on the other side of Amelia. “I’d be delighted. What has my big brother been telling you? I could reveal a few of his secrets if you’d like to hear about some of his antics.”

   “We were just talking about one on the night we had that party before you left.”

   “Oh, yes, that was some fun watching him get into trouble.” Mary Beth grabbed Amelia’s hands. “How I wish you could have come out to visit us, and I wish we could have come back to Boston more often. Ben almost didn’t come with us, but Pa persuaded him. I’m really sorry we haven’t kept in closer touch.”

Amelia glanced at him and grinned in a way he could only call wicked. “To think we might have missed reminiscing about old times if you’d stayed back with the cows. What a shame that would have been, Mr. Haynes.”

Again heat rose in his cheeks, but he would not let her teasing get to him. “Since we’re such old friends, call me Ben; everybody else does.”

“All right, Ben it is.” Then she turned back to his sister. “Now, tell me what it’s like living on a ranch with all those cattle and horses.”

Ben groaned. Once Mary Beth started, he’d never get a word into the conversation. He may as well just enjoy his food and listen to their prattle. At least he could sit back and show interest in what Amelia had to say without being obvious with his attraction to her.

Her chestnut hair sat piled on top of her head in an elaborate arrangement that must have taken hours to accomplish. Two  long  curls like those of long  ago hung down in the back from the curls amassed atop her head. His fingers itched to reach over and pull one of them as he had when she was five. Now seventeen, she had become a beautiful young lady with a sense of humor and a smile that could melt the heart of any man in her presence.

   He blinked his eyes and shook his head as Amelia squealed with delight and clapped her hands. He stared at his sister. “What was that you said about staying in Boston?”

“Ma and Grandmama talked with me last night, and

Pa agreed. I can stay here for the social season this fall.” “Isn’t it wonderful, Ben? Mary Beth and I can do so

many things together and have fun, and I’m sure there will be lots of parties.”

   Ben narrowed his eyes. “I’m sure there will be.” This was the first he’d heard of any desire from Mary Beth to come back here. She loved the ranch, or at least he’d thought so.

   “What will Ma and Aunt Clara do without you?” She’d been such a big help to them that he couldn’t imagine life without her around.

   “They’ll get along just fine. After all, there aren’t any more babies to care for. Gideon, Grace Ann, and Billy are old enough to care for themselves, so they don’t need me looking after them all the time.”

   That was true. With his youngest brother now eight years old and in school, no more children stayed at home needing care. Ma and Aunt Clara would manage just fine. Still, he had a difficult time believing his pa would let his oldest daughter live so far away.

Amelia and Mary Beth sat with heads close together discussing all the things they wanted to do in the coming months when Mary Beth would be presented to society just as her mother and grandmother had been before her. Then a bright side occurred to him. With Mary Beth here, that could mean Ma taking more trips to see her. Pa wouldn’t want to leave the ranch, so that would leave Ben to accompany Ma on such trips.

   More trips to Boston meant more opportunity to see Amelia Haynes. Of course, he’d have to gain permission from her parents, but that shouldn’t be a problem since their families were longtime friends. The future began to look brighter and brighter. This had been the best trip he’d taken in a long time, and he looked forward to many more like it—that is, if Amelia agreed to his calling on her.

Marriage Today

Is your marriage strong enough to withstand today’s epidemic of divorce? 

Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.

^{—Hebrews 13:4, amp}

 

   As a baby boomer, I remember hearing many of my friends complaining about the fights and abuse they were facing in their homes. My best friend confided that her parents were too busy to listen. Many of my junior high school friends expressed their fears of their parents divorcing. In my own home there was a constant uncanny fear and lack of freedom to express love and enjoy life. Instead of love and commitment, my father ruled the home with control and abuse, driving the siblings to develop hatred and con- tempt at an early age. I vowed at the age of eighteen that when I ^{married, it was going to be different.}

^{My own children, labeled Generation X, born in the 1970s could have been victims of my own upbringing. Instead I have chosen a different path, one that has led my family to wholeness. It is a known} fact that many of the Generation X parents defy their upbringing and pour everything they have into giving their children everything they didn’t have, no matter how great the sacrifice, including divorce. To allow our own marriages to end up in a bitter divorce is allowing the curse of divorce to continue affecting each generation.

 Members of today’s generation believe they are on a different wave, a wave to save their children from experiencing the heart- aches of their own parents. But it comes at a great cost—they are neglecting to protect and nourish their intimate relationship with their mate. Yes, children are better educated, fed, clothed, and pam- pered, but at a great price, one we will see manifested in our next generation. Many parents will look back and notice the pain their crumbling relationships inflicted on their children, pain they did everything to avoid.

 Today’s married couples are trying to avoid divorce for the sake of their children, but not for the sake of their mates. Sadly, when the nest is empty, there will be t wo strangers wondering  what went wrong. Going on behind closed doors in too many homes today, yes, even Christian homes, is:

•     Lack of commitment

•     Crisis . . . fear . . . depression

•     Lack of order . . . permissiveness
•     Criticism . . . shame . . . condemnation
•     Unsatisfied marriages . . . selfishness
•     Infidelity . . . cheating . . . divorce
•     Financial crisis
•    A single-mom boom

^{•     Pregnant teens} 

• An obsession with self and possessions

• Sensual dressing . . . body makeover craze

• Rebellious, unsupervised children
• Online porn and resultant sexual addictions
• Child abuse . . . molestation . . . incest
• Bisexual relationships
• Mental issues . . . insatiable desires
• Lack of communication and affection

 Yes, all these different symptoms and tragedies are facing our society today. Marriage is under assault. Our children are at risk. The news media reports right in front of our eyes every day confirm the downhill slide of family values. No one is escaping the onslaught.

 My intention in writing this book, especially for young couples, is threefold:

• Care and maintenance

• Prevention

• Rescue

  If you will apply these principles and counsel at whatever stage your marriage is in today, I promise they will be effective and powerful to build up and to bring change.

Lu k e wa r m Va Lu e s

A national poll conducted by Gallup shows that while Americans still hold on to some traditional moral values, they have validated immoral behaviors that are self-satisfying.¹

^{The   words  self-satisfying got  my  attention. The   need  for s}elf-gratification can blind a person from noticing the needs of other people, especially those of loved ones. Many marriages are suffering because of lack of satisfaction and passionate love for each other. When a Christian becomes lukewarm in his walk with God, everything else turns tepid, and indifference begins to settle in (Rev. 3:16).

 During our Christian conferences and marriage seminars, altars get filled to capacity with couples asking for divine intervention for their marriages. Hands go up every where when we offer prayer for children with problems. It’s every where—crisis, chaos, brokenness, abuse, instability, prayerlessness, lack of respect, rebellion, dissatisfaction, unfaithfulness, frivolous divorces, and on and on. It is on your turf and on my turf.

 The other day I was sitting at a food court in the Festival Flea Market in South Florida, the kind where everything is new and under air conditioning. As I looked around at all the people busy shopping and eating, I noticed many elderly couples, mostly Jewish, talking, laughing, and carrying on, and many enjoying their potato knishes and kosher hot dogs. As I thought about it, I asked myself: What makes these couples so different from so many other couples we know and meet every day?

 As I pondered and savored my last bite of knish, I turned to my husband and said, “Honey, I guess what makes the difference in these couples from so many others we know whose marriages are in crisis is their value system.”

 He readily agreed and added, “Most of them have a healthy fear of the Lord. They were brought up memorizing scriptures, saying prayers, and following specific biblical traditions that have impacted their lives, as well as the lives of their children and grandchildren.”

 I believe our moral value system has deteriorated and continues doing so at an alarming rate. Our values will determine the destiny of our future, the strength of our marriages, and the values our children will respect and inherit.

 Today’s modern family defies everything the Bible teaches about love, honor, and respect for the marriage covenant. 

The traditional  family was once regarded as t wo married par- ents, 2.5 kids, a dog and a white picket fence. However, the rise of the “modern family,” made up of single parents, part- ners living together, or even older parents who have moved in with adult children shows that the definition of family is changing—and with it, how families spend their leisure time.² 

sata n ’s  P u r su I t oF  You r Vows

God ’s design and purpose for marriage was for a man and woman to have a lasting and satisfying union to nurture and rear healthy off- spring. God established marriage as the only institution to nurture

a family before sin came into existence. To take care of loneliness, God created woman to be a helper and companion to man (Gen.

^{2:18) as well as to procreate and prevent fornication (Gen. 1:28;  1}

^{Cor. 7:1–2).}

^{Marriage is the most sacred of all vows or oaths a man and}

^{woman will ever make. It is not like a promise that can be forgotten}

^{or broken. When a couple makes this vow before God and witnesses,}

^{they are making a sacred commitment and covenant “till death do}

^{us part,” not “till divorce separates us.” Vows remain intact even if}

^{the marriage is full of problems—and too many are experiencing warfare because of all the excess baggage they refuse to release to Jesus.}

^{Satan is in hot pursuit of your marital vows. He can’t break the vows,}

^{so instead he diligently works at sowing dissension and strife until}

^{he succeeds in breaking up the marriage.}

^{Too many couples just walk away from their vows. God ’s blessing}

^{is upon those who keep “an oath even when it hurts” (Ps. 15:4, niv).}

^{Millions of people who divorce annually in our society are literally}

^{walking away from their commitment, but they will have to answer}

^{to God. Lacking wisdom, way too many couples have married} foolishly, making promises they are unable to keep. God is in the business of healing and repairing the things that are broken and messed up. God ’s storehouse of provision and blessing is available to all those who dare seek healing and keep their vows.

 Today’s thinking is that maintaining a lifelong marriage is impossible. Self-fulfillment and gratification are exploiting the desires of so many of today’s younger couples, and they refuse to endure

a little pain in their relationships.  The moment a difficult problem arises, they are out the door. Satan is extremely busy devising sinister schemes against the sacred bond of marriage.

  Being raised in New York, I was very saddened, as I know millions of Christians were, when I read the following article, titled “Empire State Strikes Against Marriage.” 

After a days-long deadlock, the New York Senate voted . . . to legalize same-sex “marriage” in the Empire State. . . . But where same-sex “marriage” is recognized, the citizenr y have been silenced. All seven jurisdictions that have same-sex “marriage” on the books share a common theme: Citizens have not been granted a say in the matter. Instead, courts and elected offi- cials have effectively declared themselves first and final arbi- ters, imposing an expanded definition of marriage on millions of people and thereby hammering away at the ver y foundation of our societ y. Government, the people are told, knows best. The future of marriage should be the people’s to decide. No one who values God ’s blueprint for sexualit y as only bet ween one man and one woman within the bonds of marriage should sit back as state legislators and federal courts tr y to co-opt and expand this sacred institution. Other wise we could soon see the trademark homosexual rainbow stretch from coast to coast. And “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month ” would take on a whole new meaning.³
 

ePI de m IC oF  un h a PP Y m a r r I age s

The decline in moral values in this nation has given rise to an epidemic of unhappy and unsatisfied marriages and unstable children. This nation has sanctioned and encouraged no-fault divorces and same-sex marriage. Christians just look the other way. We have allowed the ungodly to  dictate what we can and cannot say. We have  allowed sensual programming and entertainment to invade our homes. We have allowed our young girls to get abortions. We have allowed prayer to be taken out of our schools. We have allowed prayerlessness to sneak in on us—replaced by our social media enjoyment. This list could be a mile long.

  You may say, “We haven’t allowed this!” But our passiveness has allowed it! We all sit back and allow a small percentage of outspoken, demon-possessed  advocates and activists to squelch our belief system and God ’s principles for a healthy, successful, and happy marriage. Again, all children are at risk, which means that our future generations of married couples are also at risk. I can almost feel God ’s tears rolling down my face.

 To be honest with you, we need to pray for a spiritual overhaul in our personal lives. We need God ’s divine intervention, or we are going to be run over by our enemies. Only those standing firm on God ’s solid foundation will be able to overcome the onslaught of pervasiveness and outright sin that is invading every fiber of our society.

watCh  ou t F or t h e LI t t Le  Fox e s

If you are married and happy, reinforce your personal life by paying attention to the little foxes that will come to steal your happiness. Stay anchored to Jesus Christ your Savior, and build yourself up in your faith. Pay specific attention to your spiritual life, and pray powerful warfare prayers. We are in a war. Our struggle is not with humans but with demonic entities that are constantly looking for an open door to sneak in and begin their work of destruction. If your marriage is healthy and solid, invest some time in another young couple and teach them what you practice and know.

  Don’t fall asleep. Declare boldly, “Satan, you can’t have my mar- riage!” “Satan, you can’t have my children!” “Satan, you can’t have what belongs to me!” Don’t just stroll through la-la-land. We must tread upon evil spirits that come to steal our substance and our faith. To  tread upon is warfare action terminology. It means to trample, walk, crush, and march. To be effective, you have to put on your spiritual cleats!

 You can’t remain passive in your daily spiritual walk. To conquer something difficult, you must engage the enemy before he engages you. Trample and crush evil with the Word of God and with your prayers. God will do the rest. We must do what God expects from us to love, obey, and believe that He will fight our battles. Then He will enable us to do the impossible  things. Only then can you have your cake and eat it too.

 David couldn’t kill Goliath with a small stone, but with God ’s help, he did! The disciples couldn’t feed five thousand people with a child ’s lunch of fish and bread, but they did! By himself, Jonah couldn’t escape from the belly of the fish, but after three days he did. Peter couldn’t walk on water, but he did. Lazarus couldn’t walk out of the tomb after being dead for four days, but he did. I couldn’t be healed from the torment of child abuse, but with God ’s help, I was. My mother couldn’t stop my father from carrying out his threat

of massacring all the family, but her warfare prayers did. No situ- ation is too tough or too far gone. God ’s satisfying blessings have conditions, and a holy God will not bend His rules for anyone. You can trust Him to turn the most difficult situation into a miraculous blessing. 

ge n u I n e LoV e Is  nee de d

Without the genuine God kind of love, today’s marriages are at extreme risk. Genuine love means an open, honest, sincere, unaf- fected, candid, pure, real, and unpretentious kind of love. Christ Jesus models this kind of love for us. The love of Jesus in us is the superglue that keeps a marriage together and satisfied.

 Solomon expresses his enraptured feelings about the mystery of love in the Song of Solomon. We should read some of these pas- sages slowly and think about the intentions of God when He created us with deep desires to love and be loved. Sometimes I think about this and realize how shallow our expressions of love are toward our mates. We think that by saying, “I love you, honey,” we cover all the meaning of true love. Solomon uses romantic expressions that leave us lacking in expression. 

Ah, I hear my lover coming!

^{He is leaping over the mountains,}

^{bounding over the hills.}

^{My lover is like a swift gazelle}

^{or a young stag.}

^{Look, there he is behind the wall,}

^{looking through the window,}

^{peering into the room.}

^{My lover said to me,}

^{“Rise up, my darling!}

^{Come away with me, my fair one!”}

^{—Song of Solomon 2:8–10, nlt} 

 You may say, “Oh, this is poetry at its best.” I truly believe the language of love is poetic—we just don’t take the time to practice and come up with some genuine, original phrases that will knock our socks off. As I write this, I just tried a different phrase on my husband: “I love you, my handsome lover; I’m going to take you for a spin.”

 His eyes got big as saucers, and he gave me a big old grin and said, “I’m ready! Where are we going?” This is one way of awakening a boring relationship.

 Today’s married couples, especially the younger ones, are so wrapped up in their jobs and the world of social net working and media entertainment that little time or patience is left to nurture the relationship, and even less to spend quality time with children.

  I was immensely glad to see my daughter’s post advising other couples on Facebook on her recent fourteenth wedding anniversary: “Today I celebrate a fourteen-year anniversary with my honey. Don’t give up on your relationships. Remember the ‘crazy in love’ feelings you started out with, and do whatever it takes to keep them or ask God to help you get them back. God is our glue. It’s all worth it!”

 Now that’s awesome advice for any couple at any stage of their marriage. Without demonstrative love in a marriage, life is like a cold overcast day. Love is affection, tenderness, desire, intimacy, kindness, enthusiasm, and so much more. Today’s marriages are faced with tremendous opposition of evil forces. But always remember, that if you belong to God, you have a supernatural covering and awesome spiritual power at your disposal. If you’re not there yet, keep reading, and make a decision to work at your marriage. Make it a safe haven for all your passions and marital needs. Put God first in your life, and all good things will be added unto you (Luke 12:31).

todaY ’s  st eP -hom e

Many couples go through a devastating divorce, and later they remarry. Some may have the added responsibility of stepchildren. Children of divorce or separation become the victims. The  word victim means, “fatality, prey, loss, sufferer, wounded, harmed, help- less, somebody hurt and used for sacrifice.” As you can see from all these sensitive meanings, a precious victim comes in with many defenses to overcome.

 It is not uncommon in today’s marriages to hear couples place the blame on stepchildren for disrupting their lives. The modern family is so busy and occupied that dealing with the emotional issues of a stepchild often seems like too much work. On the other hand, the new parent may have little or no experience or tolerance for dealing with all the new concerns that arise on a daily basis.

 Heaps of books have been written about the uphill trauma of dealing with divorce and the unexpected trials of raising stepchildren. I’ve prayed for many couples who are trying to cope and, at the same time, keep their sanity. Rarely do I meet a person who is truly happy raising someone else’s children. If you find yourself in such a situation, recognize that the fatherless and motherless have a special place in God ’s heart (Ps. 10:14, 18).

  Recognize that stepchildren are the flesh and blood of and closely knitted to your spouse. Ask for God ’s help, and avoid becoming bitter or having a bitter stepchild. Pour yourself into your family, and God will pour Himself into every aspect of your lives. Marriage won’t work when you draw separate lines.

 I highly recommend my book Satan, You Can’t Have My Children as  a spiritual warfare guide that will help you train children effectively.⁴

 C. M. Ward said, “It is not divorce that destroys families, but bad marriages.”⁵