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Like me, you may be faced with being a caregiver for your parents, or other older relative. One of the things that requires a lot of attention is making sure that they are eating healthy. Healthy eating for older adults is possible!

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Healthy Eating for Older Adults

Older adults still have virtually the same nutritional requirements as all adults. However, since they most likely aren’t as active, they won’t need as many calories. They also may have trouble eating.

Our elders very well may not tell us why they are having trouble eating. They may not even realize it or know why themselves. They may have trouble eating due to dental problems, loss of taste or smell, loss of appetite from age or medicine side effects, or the inability to prepare their own meals. We have to pay attention to their eating habits and do some sleuthing to identify why they aren’t eating, and make changes for them so that they can get the nutrition that they need.

The first step would be a visit to the doctor and/or a nutritionist. They, and you, need to find out what the recommend daily calorie intake is for them. Caloric needs do change. The doctor or nutritionist will also let you know any special needs they may have. A low sodium diet, limits on fluids, or certain vitamins, to name a few. This would be a great time to ask if they recommend any vitamins or supplements for them.

If they are not eating enough due to dental problems, a visit to the dentist is in order. If they have dentures, they may need to change the food they are eating, or change the form that they are eating them in. For example, a lot of older adults have trouble chewing raw vegetables. So they need to eat cooked veggies instead.

The foods that need to be eaten for good health are the same for everyone regardless of age.

Healthy carbohydrates: Brown rice, sweet potatoes, whole grains – bread, crackers, or pasta

Proteins from meat, fish, eggs, and beans

Dairy products including milk, cheese, yogurt, and butter

And five servings of fruits and vegetables a day

Healthy eating for older adults means that substitutions may need to be made. Here are a few suggestions

You will need to make sure that carbohydrates are cooked to the correct consistency for them. Whole grains will often have to be something that does not have visible grains and seeds in it. Those can be hard to digest, as well as getting stuck in or under dentures. If eating that whole grain bread causes them pain, they won’t eat it. There are now white whole wheat breads on the market that they may be willing to eat.

The protein may have to change forms as well. Trouble chewing meat may mean eating more ground meats instead of having a steak. Chicken and fish are easier to chew than beef. Beans can be a good choice. Unless they have trouble with them being gas producing. That can make older adults very uncomfortable. If they like eating beans, there are ways to make them less gas producing, such as soaking over night.

Digestion slows down as we age, and a lot of older adults have trouble digesting raw vegetables, so fruits and vegetables may need to be eaten cooked. Make sure that they are getting a variety of vegetables to get enough nutrition. This may mean making extra vegetables. Some for the family and some for the them. Usually the darker the vegetable, the more nutrition it contains. Broccoli, cauliflower, and onions may need to be avoided as they are gas producing. You may have a hard time getting them to eat the full 5 servings every day. I know I do! Try to get as many in as you can. Hiding them in other foods if you have to. For example banana or zucchini bread. Adding bananas to pancakes and french toast. Adding finely chopped vegetables to meatloaf.

Dairy products are important for their calcium and vitamin D that help bones stay strong. Yogurt, with active cultures is important for gut health.

As the sense of taste and smell fade as we get older, we may need to add more spices and seasonings to increase the flavors to entice them to eat.

With a few adjustments, older adults can still eat their favorite foods and get the nutrition they need to be, and stay, healthy.

You may find these posts helpful. The Sandwich Generation, Making Decisions, and When Is It Too Much.

Here are a few books that you might find helpful.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click the links, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

*This post contains affiliate links

About a year and a half ago, I wrote about being in the Sandwich Generation. In case you’ve never heard that term, it’s when you are caring for your children and your parents at the same time.

Now, we find ourselves in the middle of this again. Another one of our parents has been sick and in the hospital. It’s still up in the air about what is going to happen when they are finally discharged. Going to a nursing home? Going to their home? Coming to my home?

So I am re-reading my posts on being in the Sandwich Generation.  Because even though we’ve been through this before, I need reminders, too!

I need to remind myself that I am doing ok. Even if I feel guilty for not being available to everyone all the time. I need to remind myself that it’s ok not be able to be everything to everybody. I need to remind myself that there is no need to feel guilty when I am doing everything humanly possible.  And you don’t have to feel guilty, either!

To read more about my journey through the Sandwich Generation, read these posts.

The Sandwich Generation

The Sandwich Generation – Making Decisions

The Sandwich Generation – When Is It Too Much?

If your parent, or other loved one is in the hospital, here are my 5 Tips for Staying in the Hospital with a Loved One.

Here are a few books that you might find helpful.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click the links, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

*This post contains affiliate links

The Sandwich Generation – You’re taking care of your parent at home. And taking care of your children at the same time. This can lead to wondering if you are doing the right thing for everyone.

Then there is the guilt. You feel guilty for not being able to do everything for your children, and have them do the activities and fun stuff that they want to do. You feel guilty for not being able to do everything you can to meet your parent’s needs.

The Sandwich Generation – When is it Too Much?

At some point, it is all going to be too much. Your kids may start showing signs that you are not spending enough time with them.

At some point, your parent is going to require more hands on care, and more medical treatments than you can handle at home.

We all are only human, with only 24 hours in each day, and have to sleep at night.

At some point, you are going to have to say you can no longer do it all, then something has to change.

That change will vary from family to family. You may be able to hire someone to come in to take care of your parent, to meet their needs. That will free up your time to spend with your children.

In-home care is expensive, though. You may not be able to afford to pay for it. Or your parent may need more care than even a home care worker can give. In that case, your only option may be a nursing home.

That’s when even more guilt tries to attack you. You feel that you should be able to take care of your parent yourself. The most important thing is to make sure your parent gets the care they need and deserve. If their needs are being met, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Telling your parent that you can no longer care for them is hard. But at some point, it will be a necessary conversation.

It is heartbreaking to know that you can not meet the needs of your parent, and have no choice but to place them in a nursing home.

Please know that you are not alone. My husband and I are at that point, too. We know the guilty feeling. We are choosing to concentrate on how to best meet our parents needs. If that is nursing home care, then we have nothing to feel guilty about. And neither do you!

Stop by and read these other posts that I have written:The Sandwich Generation and The Sandwich Generation – Making Decisions.

Here are a few books that you might find helpful.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click the links, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

*This post contains affiliate links

You can read my first post about The Sandwich Generation for a little background information about my family.

There are so many decisions that have to be made when a parent gets older and can no longer do everything for themselves.

Here are just a few questions to think about when preparing to care for ones parents.

The Sandwich Generation Making Decisions

Are they going to stay in their own home, or move in with one of their children?

Will they need in home care? Just help with housework and meals? For bathing a couple of times a week? Full time, 24 hour a day care? If you have to hire someone, who will pay for it?

Do they need nursing home care? Who is going to pay for it?
Do they have enough resources to pay for it themselves?
Or insurance that will pay for it?
Did you know that Medicare doesn’t pay for long term nursing home stays? Medicaid has many rules about when they will pay for a nursing home, basically, the patient has to be down to $2,000 in assets before they will pay. Which means they will have to sell their home.

Believe it or not, those are the easy questions.

The hard questions pertain to how to best meet the needs and wants of the elderly parent, while trying to meet the needs and wants of your own family, at the same time.

Does your parent want to remain in their own home? Or do they prefer to move to a nursing home?  How will having your parent move into your home, affect your family?

You may want to take care of your parent at home, but they are adamant about going into a nursing home. Or they may be adamant about staying in their home, and you are unable to care for them yourself there.

All of these questions are hard to answer. The answers will vary from person to person and family to family.

It can feel so overwhelming when you are in the midst of making all these decisions.

Which is where we now are.

Thankfully, most of these decisions do not have to be made all at one time. Unless it is an emergency situation, you should have time to make some or all of these decisions.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of questions to ask your parent and yourself. Your parent and your family may have different situations and needs. Most families do.

My goal in sharing this is to let you know you are not alone. There is not one right way of caring for an elderly parent while caring your your own family. Hopefully, this list will help you find the right way for you.

Here are a few books that you might find helpful.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click the links, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

*This post contains affiliate links

Ever heard of the “Sandwich Generation” ?

That is the term used to describe the generation of people who are now caring for children and their parents at the same time. According to one statistic I read, 1 of every 8 Americans aged 40 to 60 is both raising a child and caring for a parent.

A little history….

When I was a teenager, I helped my family care for my grandmother. It wasn’t always easy. Especially when I had to get up in the middle of the night to care for her. She would manage to take her clothes off, then get out of bed, and fall. My mother worked nights in a nursing home, so I was the only female in the house. It was my responsibility to get her dressed again, (No easy feat!) So my brother and father could pick her up and get her back in bed. Then I would go back to sleep, and hope she didn’t wake up again, then get up for school the next day. Then school, activities such as cheerleading and majorettes, then work. I’d come home in time to eat, do homework, then go to bed again.

Back to the present….

So I have experience in caring for an elderly grandparent in the home. Now, my husband and I are in the position of having to care for one of our parents. In order the respect the privacy of this parent, I will not say which parent it is. One of our parents lives next door to us, and another one lives across the street. So when I say “next door” it could mean either parent.

While life as parent caregivers gets real for us, I will be sharing from time to time about what we are going through. I will not be mentioning any specifics about the parent, just what I am going through. And hopefully help others along this journey as well.

I’m  not going to lie and say it will be easy. It’s going to be hard to provide 24 hour care by ourselves. And we still have 2 kids under 18 in our home, that I homeschool. While it will be hard, we are set up for it. Living so close makes it much easier. No one will have to move.

Our basic schedule that we have come up with is I will be with our parent from about 7:30 in the morning until about 5:30 at night. My husband will take over when he gets home from work, and spend the night, leaving for work the next morning. This schedule will be tweaked as necessary. Considering that our parent isn’t home from the hospital yet, we will have to wait and see exactly what their needs will be. Right now we are going off the information the social worker at the hospital told us.  It’s good to have a plan to start with, though.

Is being part of the sandwich generation easy? No!

Is it worth caring for our parents while raising our children? Yes!

To read more about my journey through the Sandwich Generation, read these posts.

 

 

If your parent, or other loved one is in the hospital, here are my 5 Tips for Staying in the Hospital with a Loved One.

 

 

Here are a few books that you might find helpful.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click the links, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.